Why should I make such an effort? Because I have a fear of being like her exactly. I have a feeling against complete chaos. I want to be able to live with her in utter madness, but I also want to be able to understand afterwards, to grasp what I've lived through.
You ask contradictory and impossible things. You want to know what dreams, what impulses, what desires she has. You’ll never know. Not from her.
Anaïs Nin - Henry and June